{"id":53,"date":"2013-07-02T21:55:17","date_gmt":"2013-07-03T01:55:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/crobrun.com\/?p=53"},"modified":"2013-07-02T22:06:14","modified_gmt":"2013-07-03T02:06:14","slug":"walmaart-in-the-sky","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crobrun.com\/?p=53","title":{"rendered":"WALMART IN THE SKY"},"content":{"rendered":"

Anyone who has ever set foot on a commercial airline has undoubtedly seen a copy of Sky Mall Magazine<\/strong> and most have probably thumbed through it once or twice.\u00a0 Unlike a lot of people who play with their cell phones or IPADS while the plane is waiting to taxi for takeoff, I usually browse through the Sky Mall.\u00a0 I can\u2019t remember ever purchasing anything from the pages of this magazine, but I have to admit that I do find many of the items interesting and possibly even useful.\u00a0 You\u2019ve probably guessed by now that this article isn\u2019t about the useful stuff, but rather the items that I personally find to be strange and unusual, so let\u2019s go.<\/p>\n

Portable All In One Sun Tracking Solar Generator<\/b> \u2013 this little device travels with you so that if you\u2019re on a picnic, at the beach or camping trip, you can set it up and the solar panels are supposed to follow the sun and provide power for your portable electronic devices.\u00a0 While this seems like a good idea, why wouldn\u2019t I just plug my phone or computer into my car or truck AC outlet? \u00a0\u00a0If you like this little device it will only cost you $1499 and you\u2019re guaranteed to be the only person in your circle of friends and family to own one.<\/p>\n

Toppik<\/b> \u2013 A safe and natural way to eliminate bald spots on the scalp of men and yes women as well!\u00a0 It says that you shake this stuff over the bald spot and it fills in with something that looks just like your hair.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know about the rest of you, but if I start losing my hair, I think I\u2019ll just cut it off and go bald, but if that\u2019s not your style, you can rush over to www.skymall.com<\/a> and be the first to get yourself a bottle of Toppik in one of 9 colors for only cost $21.95.<\/p>\n

Somawave Head Massager<\/b> \u2013 Guaranteed to disconnect you from the world after a stressful day at work, play or life in general.\u00a0 Just slip on your scientifically designed Somawave Helmet and enjoy the ultimate relaxation experience.\u00a0\u00a0 If this thing really works, it could put Liquor stores, Pain pills and Drug dealers out of business.\u00a0 All those years that some of us smoked pot and drank vodka; who knew that all we needed was a silly looking head massager to relieve us of our stress?\u00a0\u00a0Unlike our other forms of stress relief, the Somawave helmet comes with a safety warning.\u00a0 Yep that\u2019s right, it clearly says:\u00a0 Do not wear while operating heavy machinery.\u00a0 I guess that means you shouldn\u2019t wear it while you\u2019re driving.\u00a0 And finally, the maker says that it may induce sleep or a trance like state of consciousness!\u00a0 Funny, that\u2019s exactly the effect that Jack Daniels has on me.<\/p>\n

Porch Potty<\/b> \u2013 For those of us with dogs, this is a must have.\u00a0 The Porch Potty is a device that looks like a plant box with grass in it where your dog can do his business and it drains through the grass into a catcher below the device.\u00a0 I know, it sounds like a good idea, but stop and think about the smell after a few hours of dog pee sitting around your house all day.\u00a0 I can see it now; the dog starts out doing his business on the Porch Potty and later decides that anything on the floor that\u2019s green will work.\u00a0 Can you say Dead Dog?<\/p>\n

The Wordsmith Manual Typewriter<\/b> \u2013 I\u2019m an old guy, but a manual typewriter, really?\u00a0 In the Army, I worked in supply where we used manual typewriters to type our requisitions and other documents, and I have to tell you that I don\u2019t miss one thing about a manual typewriter. \u00a0The ribbons were dirty, the keys got stuck often, they were noisy and if you made a mistake you almost always ended up starting over again.\u00a0 So what was so great about a manual typewriter that would make me want to pay $199 to own one in an era of computers, tablets and smart phones?\u00a0 Here\u2019s an idea Sky Mall, let\u2019s also bring back the Model T, rotary telephones, and buggy whips.<\/p>\n

I-GROW<\/b> \u2013 The Sky Mall seems to really like products that claim to grow or repair hair because the I-Grow is a helmet with what appear to be lights inside that are supposed to make your hair grow.\u00a0 According to the description, the helmet has laser technology that grows your hair while you listen to the built in MP3 player.\u00a0 I have no idea if this thing will grow your hair, but you could get your inner Nerd on while sitting around your home looking stupid and listening to Bach or Beethoven.<\/p>\n

Bottoms Up Boxer<\/b> Briefs \u2013 Ok, I\u2019m going to quit after this one before I lose what little mind\u00a0I have left.\u00a0\u00a0Bottoms Up Boxer Briefs\u00a0are briefs that are supposed to flatten and tone a man\u2019s ass while reducing its size by 2 sizes.\u00a0 Now I don\u2019t know about the rest of you, but even when I weighed almost 250 pounds, I wouldn\u2019t have\u00a0been caught dead in \u00a0Bottoms up Briefs.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what kind of men wear these things, but I really hope that I don\u2019t know any of them.\u00a0 Do these guys actually have wives or girlfriends?\u00a0 If so, who are they and what could they possibly be thinking?<\/p>\n

I could go on and on with the crazy things for sale in the sky Mall, but I think that most get the idea and I sincerely apologize for the craziness but I had to get this out of my head, so thank you for indulging me.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m Just Sayin<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Anyone who has ever set foot on a commercial airline has undoubtedly seen a copy of Sky Mall Magazine and most have probably thumbed through it once or twice.\u00a0 Unlike a lot of people who play with their cell phones … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-53","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6BTIK-R","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crobrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crobrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crobrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crobrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crobrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=53"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/crobrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":55,"href":"https:\/\/crobrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53\/revisions\/55"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crobrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=53"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crobrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=53"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crobrun.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=53"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}