Before I start, I want to make it clear that unlike many black people, I have spent my entire life living, working and socializing with white people. I went to school with white kids from first grade all the way through four years of college, I served with every race in the US Army for seven years, and have spent my entire adult life working in environments where I was either the only black person, or one of less than a handful. Given my experience I absolutely know that most white people are not racist, or that they hate black people, I also absolutely know that most black people aren’t criminals, thugs, lazy or are on welfare. I also know without question that I probably wouldn’t be where I am in life without a hand up from any number of people who look nothing like me. I love my country and wouldn’t trade life in America for any other place in the world so I want to write about something that I believe most of us never consider when it comes to race issues in America and that’s Cultural Conditioning (CC).
Let’s start with 3 definitions of Cultural Conditioning:
For me, Cultural Conditioning is how we think about ourselves and those around us, it’s how we view the rest of our countrymen and women. Cultural conditioning basically determines our prejudices, who we like and dislike without regard to rhyme or reason.
Conrad Phillip Kottak (in Window on Humanity) writes:
Enculturation is the process where the culture that is currently established teaches an individual the accepted norms and values of the culture or society where the individual lives. The individual can become an accepted member and fulfill the needed functions and roles of the group. Most importantly the individual knows and establishes a context of boundaries and accepted behavior that dictates what is acceptable and not acceptable within the framework of that society. It teaches the individual their role within society as well as what is accepted behavior within that society and lifestyle”
Talk show host Joe Madison describes Cultural Conditioning in this way:
In this country, we are culturally conditioned to believe that white is superior and black is inferior; and the manifestation of this conditioning, causes black people to be underestimated, undervalued and marginalized.
Given the effects of Cultural Conditioning, It’s sometimes hard to make another black person understand that what a white person says or does isn’t racist, but rather just cultural and it’s equally as hard to convince my white friends that much of what they see in black life is also cultural in nature. I personally never gave much thought to race until 6 years ago when we elected a black man as president and I have to admit that I was not only surprised, but shocked by the number of people who seemingly came out of the woodwork and from under rocks to express their racist and hateful views of not just the president, but of black people in general. I was equally stunned by the response of many blacks when they blindly lined up behind the president as though he could do no wrong, but both of these reactions are Cultural Conditioning in its purest form. Much of what has occurred in the past 6 years has nothing to do with policy, but much more with our Cultural Conditioning as a nation and each reaction is purely based on skin color for most people. America is supposed to be “Post Racial”, however unfortunately not only are we not post racial, we could be worse off than before Mr. Obama got elected. The doors of Cultural Conditioning swing both ways as both blacks and whites have negative stereotypes about black people. Both whites and blacks are guilty of stereotyping black people as being lazy, not being smart, thuggish, and so on. Let me give you a couple of quick examples.
When I started writing my Blog, I remember talking to a white friend who I had known for more than 10 years about an article that I had just published and the conversation went something like this;
Friend– I didn’t know that you could write
Me – I’m not sure what you mean?
Friend – your article was really well written, did you write and edit it yourself?
Me – why wouldn’t you think that I can write, I did spend 4 years in college.
Friend – I knew that you spoke well, but I just never thought about you writing.
Now listen to a very similar conversation with a black friend that at the time I had known for more than 20 years.
Friend – Did you write and edit that article all by yourself?
Me – yes, why?
Friend –I didn’t know that you could write. Where did you learn to write like that?
Me – I have a college degree, so why wouldn’t I be able to write?
Friend – I just never thought about you writing and that was really well written.
This is a classic example of what Madison is saying when he says that blacks are undervalued, under estimated and marginalized. Look at the language, that both my black and white friend used, both were culturally conditioned to believe that I shouldn’t be able to write well, that being articulate and possessing the ability to speak well is an aberration and out of the norm. Unfortunately this is not an uncommon occurrence for most black people, you see we’re not supposed to be smart, speak well or possess the ability to be successful in life and more unfortunate is the fact that it isn’t just white people who believe this, but blacks believe it as well! I remember attending a fashion show in Scottsdale, AZ several years ago with my wife when a lady tripped on some cables that the production crew had run across the floor. In an attempt to be a gentleman, I reached out my hand and helped her up, only to find myself on the wrong end of a tirade about how you people need to do a better job and not put cables that aren’t taped down. When she finished yelling, I explained to her that I was sure that the help even in this posh resort didn’t wear Armani, at which time I fully expected an apology but not surprisingly, none was forth coming, she just turned and walked away in a huff, seemingly disappointed that the one black man in the room wasn’t the hired help.
I can still remember conversations I overheard as a kid between my dad and some of his friends about a local black insurance agent from whom my dad purchased a life insurance policy. Dad’s two friends couldn’t believe that he was doing business with the black guy because as they put it, if you want to make sure the guy isn’t a crook and that his company will pay he should be doing business with the white agent down town.
Perhaps my favorite example of CC is when black people tell me that I talk white or act white because I worked hard to get a good education and build a successful business. In many black communities, our children are taught that to be smart isn’t cool, that to study in class, do your homework and stay away from knuckle heads who get in trouble just isn’t cool. The really unfortunate part about this kind of thinking is that it serves to ensure that those kids grow into adults who continue the cycle of poverty that encompasses so many black communities. The flip side to this is that many whites don’t see or believe that there are white communities in America that are no better off, where there are white children born into generational poverty as well with no way out because no value is placed on education.
And finally, we’ve all heard (or if you’re black experienced) of the black guy on the elevator with the white woman who can be seen clutching her purse closer as though he might leap on her and snatch her purse in the elevator:-) I put a smile face at the end of that sentence because I’ve almost always found that circumstance kind of funny, don’t really know why, I just get humor out of it even when it happens to me with mostly silver hair.
So how do we fix our Cultural Conditioning problem in America? We don’t! That’s right we don’t fix it. Now that you know it exist perhaps you should be more conscious of it but this is something that has taken hundreds of years to engrain in all us, our ancestors were Culturally Conditioned and they passed it down to all of us, so it’s just a part of us. I had a really close friend who used to say that he didn’t care about race, people are just people and although sometimes even I forget it, I think his rule is a good one. I think that despite cultural differences and the stereotypes, if we all just show each other proper respect as people, our world will improve and perhaps in a couple of generations our children will be reconditioned making our country and our world a better place.
I’M JUST SAYIN!