LETTER TO MY MOTHER

Most people don’t know that you didn’t start out as my mother, but rather that you took that job on when no one else wanted it. I don’t remember being three months old, but I do know that’s how old I was when you agreed to babysit me for a friend who would never return to pick me up. I know that it would have been much easier for a poor family with no children of their own at the time to turn me over to some social services agency where I would have probably been placed in Foster Care, but you didn’t do that. Not only did you not turn me in to Social Services, at some point, you decided that if no one else wanted me, that you would take me in and raise me as your own child. That is and always will be the luckiest day of my life!

In the years after you took me in, you gave birth to four more children, and I had to share you with two brothers and two sisters, but I was always the special one, because I was your oldest. I can still remember the day when I was 12 and another kid wanted to hurt my feelings and blurted out “your momma ain’t your momma, you’re adopted”. Evidently she had overheard an adult conversation about me and couldn’t resist the opportunity to try and use it against me. Not only did you not allow that to be used against me, or allow me to feel sorry for myself, I remember like yesterday the conversation that we had about what it means to be a parent. I remember you explaining to me that mothers and fathers are the people who love you and provide for you, parents are the people who teach you right from wrong, and they’re not always the ones who give birth to you.

Mom, I am who I am today in large part because of the lessons you taught me all those years ago. You were the person who taught me to believe in myself, to have confidence and not allow anyone to discourage or tell me what I couldn’t do in life. You were the person who taught me that education was essential to success in America and that learning to read and write well would serve me well throughout life. You were the person who told me that there is no substitute for hard work and determination, that quitting could never be an option if I really wanted to be successful. When the bullies tried to push me around because I was small and skinny, you were the person who made me stand up to them, who wouldn’t let me back down even if I had to pick up a stick or a brick to defend myselfJ You were the person who taught me that it wasn’t enough to just defend myself, but to stand up for those who were too weak to stand for themselves, to assist those less fortunate than I and never forget where I started in life. You were the first person to tell me that I should always strive to be the very best at everything I do, to work especially hard at the things I was weak on, and work while my competition slept if necessary. When others complained about the disadvantages of color or other obstacles, you taught me that the only person who could ever really hold me back would be looking back at me in the mirror every morning and to this day, I consider that one of my most important lessons ever.

I can know of no one with more strength and courage than you! Over the years you’ve lost a husband, two sons and several sisters, but you always stayed strong. Despite a stroke, the loss of one leg and numerous other ailments, you have always remained upbeat, positive and strong. I have no doubt that like most of us you have bad days, but frankly I’ve never seen you on those days, so for me they don’t exist.

You used to say that God takes care of children and fools, but I think that God puts people like you in the lives of children and fools to ensure our growth. You took care of me when I couldn’t take care of myself, and every time that I’ve come to you with a problem or question you had the answer. Even though I sometimes didn’t like your answers, one thing remained constant, you were always proved to be right.

Sincerely,