As a person with multiple children and grandchildren, I truly understand people who want more for their children, and I even understand those who spoil their children by giving them the things their parents would have never given them or approved of, but let’s examine our relationship with our children shall we. Almost everything done in America today no matter what they do will try and tie it to some cause associated with children. Politicians want our votes so that they can secure our children’s futures, Educators want more money so that they can better prepare our children for the future; the police will violate every paragraph in the constitution in the name of protecting children (a good thing). Have you ever heard someone say “I want my children to be better off than I am”? How about we have to secure our future for the children, or if we don’t do this, that or the other thing our children will pay the price? I hear these statements over and over again, almost daily, and sometimes find myself wondering, can these people be serious?
If you’ve ever said any of the above statements, I’ve got news for you. Your children and mine were born better off than us, and if they aren’t succeeding in life, it’s mostly our fault. In case you’ve forgotten our parents didn’t baby us and buy us the world, they made sure that we learned to take care of ourselves and survive in the world, but not us, with our kids. How many of you ever rode your bike or skate board with knee pads and a helmet on? Not only did we not wear helmets or pads, if we fell, our parents made us get up and try it again. I remember once my brother Harry and I built a bike from scrap parts and forgot to hook up the brake. When I got on to take the first ride and realized that the brakes didn’t work I decided to stick my right foot between the tire and frame to slow down, turns out that was a really bad idea only realized when my foot got stuck and I was going head first over the handle bars. My mom patched me up, and my dad laughed like hell, but neither ran out and purchased a helmet and they surely didn’t make us stop riding our bikes.
From a wealth standpoint our children are significantly better off than we were, if for no reason because we’ve spoiled them by giving them everything in life, and bailed them out at every opportunity. We defend them when they do wrong, we spoil them with all the riches that we never had, we buy them nice cars, the best clothes, cell phones, computers and yes even help them purchase homes. I purchased my first car for $125 when I was 18 from a junk yard after working for weeks and saving for it; before that I walked or caught the bus to get from point A to B. My mom and dad never owned a new car, so there was no way I could expect them to buy something for me to drive and at that time I didn’t know any kid in my neighborhood who had a car paid for by his or her parents. Given what my generation had to work for, it amazes me that today’s middle class parents will go into debt to purchase fancy new cars for 16, 17 and 18 year old kids to drive. Once they’ve purchase that new ride for Jr., and get the bill for the insurance, they promptly call their insurance agent and complain about the rate being too high. Yep that’s right, get a teenager a new car that they’ll probably wrap around a pole in the next six months and expect the rate to be that of a 40 year old. I don’t want to be a hypocrite, so in the interest of full disclosure, I did purchase pre owned cars for all of my children when they turned 17 if their GPA was at least 3.0, but they all had very strict restrictions, most importantly if your GPA dropped and you lost your discount for being a good student, hand over the keys! Yes, I too am one of the parents who spoiled my children far too much and now I’ve started on my grandchildren. I remember once in 1998 a co-worker and I decided to go through our check books and add up how much money we each had either given, loaned or spent on our children over a 6 month period and I have to say that I was shocked when I saw those numbers, I seriously had no idea it was so much. I only wish that I could say that this experience showed me the error of my ways, but honestly even today if I get that emergency call, text message or email, good ole dad shows up with cash in hand.
People, our children are so much better off than we are and they were born that way. They have many more amenities in life, for the most part they are better educated, get better jobs and make a hell of a lot more money at young ages than most of us did. If we would just pull those Silver Spoons from their mouths and let them grow into their own; if we just take the helmets and knee pads off, show them how to pay their own way, let them walk if they can’t pay for their own rides, and do without the “Stuff” in life that they want but don’t need and many times can’t afford. I know what you’re thinking; I’m a parent or grandparent, I can’t just say no to my children and grandchildren, but I’m telling you that we have to if we truly want them to be better off. Many of you reading this grew up poor as did I, so when I look at my children and grandchildren, there is no doubt, they were comparatively born with silver spoons in their mouths, and so did everyone of yours, weather you’re willing to admit it or not.
As parents we can’t allow the politicians and others to use our children as pawns to tell us how bad off we are in the greatest country in the world. Even people born poor in America will be better off than their parents were and there is no argument that can be made to the contrary. If you want to keep giving your children the world, that’s ok with me, but let’s all stop saying we’re doing it for the kids, or that we’re concerned they won’t be better off because anyone with eyes should be able to clearly see that they are!
I’m just sayin